Facts About Bears:

Bears are extremely intelligent creatures, as smart, in fact, as the average three year old human. They can count, discern big dots from small dots (which means therefore they can judge distance), have amazing hunting instinct, and much more! We are raising money to give these creatures guns so they can defend themselves! Please help our cause. Donate today to help us. Any amount is appreciated. Get guns for these poor, hunted bears.

We should also give the chickens grenades. All animals deserve the right to defend themselves. The weapons would masquerade as eggs until they blew up. Not a good omelet, I'd say.

A study was conducted by a prestigious university in which bears were given guns and asked to shoot at a target in a shooting range. 80% of these shots were on target, which is much better than their human counterparts, who participated in a similar study with a on-target shot percentage of 63.

In the middle ages, once, a bear was king of a large human kingdom. He had to shave his fur, of course, but everyone bought it. He had first taken power by attacking the castle with a sword he had made himself, whittling with his teeth, a sharp, pointy stick. If a bear can defeat all those humans protecting a castle, then, in this time where weapons are more high tech, we should give the poor animals access to weapons they can use to protect themselves.

Once, the bears took over the world. They solved all our problems. No more global warming, no Donald Trump, nothing bad for our nation and our planet. So, we should give them guns.

GIVE THE BEARS GUNS!

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